Nontraditional Wedding Planning

Wedding season has begun! The invitations are trickling in, and I have my own on the brain despite the fact that my savings account is not permitting an actual date to be set as of yet...

I've been exploring some of the web resources for nontraditional brides, as I had my cheesy, formal princess wedding when I was 18 (50 people, $5000 budget- not bad, but the whole thing was kind of lame). This time I want to really reflect my fiance's and my personalities and tastes, especially since we're (I'm) paying for it ourselves (myself) entirely-- that means we can do things that the older folks may disapprove of. Chris is a little concerned about his conservative Italian side of the family but I think (hope) we'll win them over with fun.

My Etsy Treasury East featuring a pink/purple butterfly & pirate theme

I particularly love OffbeatBride and AntiBride - Girls after my own heart! I envy the liberties some of the brides take with little concern for the reactions of others but I think I can throw a terrific party that pleases a bit more than it shocks.

My criteria for the ceremony are, in order of importance: 1) Outdoors 2) Inexpensive or Free. To this end, we may resort to a standing quickie ceremony in the Arnold Arboretum (no furniture allowed!) and then have the ceremony at a nearby Sons of Italy. But that is only if my former middle and high school doesn't allow me to hold it in their lovely Sunken Garden for a reduced or nonexistent fee (they still love me for some reason, despite my somewhat exorbitant rebellion and eventual dropping out).


A former private estate, the school is absolutely stunning and the grounds immaculate. And not too far away is a fantastic little pub, part of a chain owned by local former students, where you can rent the top floor (the Attic), complete with stage! My favorite bartender and friend Tommy's fabulous party band, the Beantown Project, will be the main musical selection, and then we'll set up an ipod dock later in the evening for people to play their own lists.

I adore the black laquer and hardwood throughout the pub, as well as the unique wrought-iron light fixtures. Wide magenta ribbon bows around the chair backs should inject a bit of liveliness to the dark atmosphere.


We'll have towers of cupcakes instead of a traditional cake, with edible sugar butterfly and pirate flag toppers by SugarRobot on Etsy (how.freaking.awesome?). For favors, I plan to have a skull with butterfly logo designed and have it custom etched on pint glasses, which will be filled with homemade fudge in bright cellophane (they will most likely sub in for bouquets on the tables, because I don't want the expense or waste of a lot of cut flowers!) and the same design on temporary tattoos (which I hope people will don during the wedding so they match the bride and groom!)

I want to do handmade, plantable invitations (paper with wildflower seeds embedded!), and wear a handmade, two-piece corset and tulle skirt combination. I'm still vacillating slightly on the color, because I think magenta would be awesome but all of my girlfriends beg me to reconsider and go white with the black trim as they think the magenta will be overwhelming and clownish... what's your opinion? Love your comments so feel free to let me know what you think of the plans!

Supporting "the Girls": Selecting the Right Bra

Most women are wearing the wrong size bra- so the popular wisdom goes. For the lucky ladies who can wear halter tops and for whom bras are an unnecessary extra, it is probably fairly easy to find something that does the trick just fine (pardon me if I am wrong!). However, if you are rather more generously endowed, squeezing your girls into a too-small, un-supportive bra may be diminishing your "total package" or ruining your look. The correct size and type of bra will leave a smooth line beneath your clothing, make you stand up straighter, make your waist look smaller and make you look younger and perkier. Yes, please?

Photo by the incredibly talented Beat on Flickr

Some of the telltale signs you're wearing the wrong size include the ladies falling out of the cups when you lean over, the dreaded "four-boob," and generally spilling on the sides, bottom, or top of the bra. It's quite possible that as insane as it sounds, if your bras are not fitting you could be bigger than a D cup. Bigger than a DD even. Do they exist, you ask!? But of course, and not just by custom order or specialty store!

I recently discovered, through a marathon dressing-room session at Marshall's-- wherein I snagged all of the biggest bras I could find in several different cup and band size--, that I am not, in fact, a 36DD as I had assumed all of these years, but more accurately a 34FF. I allowed myself a moment of eyes-popping-out-of-skull before remarking how amazing I felt when properly supported and forgetting all about that pesky, "embarrassing" size. Forget about the number (or letter(s) ), once again, ladies. And don't make the mistake of just going up and up in band size if you don't feel your bras are fitting properly; most of the support comes from the band so if it's too loose you're doing yourself no favors! A good band will actually eliminate the back fat situation (if you've got lots popping out above and below, try a wider (3-hook minimum) band instead of a bigger inches measurement.

If you are unable to find a good fit on your own through trial and error, do make a trip to a lingerie store (not Vicky's or Frederick's; one that specializes in foundation garments, not bedroom outfits!) such as Lady Grace, and be professionally measured. Once armed with your new knowledge about what size actually fits you properly, GO SHOPPING! Lady Grace and similar specialty bra shops have plenty of stock but it may be heavily weighted toward the hideous category. Big boobs can have pretty bras, too! Fayreform is a new brand catering toward full-figured ladies and their high-end options can be found for as little as $7 at Marshall's, so keep an eye out. They are also carried at better department stores like Nordstrom, where you might be able to find a seasonal deal to bring them down from the $60 range, and HerRoom.com sometimes has them on sale also.

A few other excellent web resources:

HipsandCurves, catering toward plus sizes (with band measurements beginning at 38 and cup sizes up to J)

Bravissimo for the larger cup sizes (D-KK) with smaller band measurements (28-40)

BiggerBras carries every size imaginable, pretty much, although the interface isn't perfect and the sales aren't that inexpensive

BraExperience has a huge variety of sizes and styles, and a decent sale section, as well as a promo running right now! (use promo code "BE55OFF" when adding to the shopping cart to receive 55% of Sale Priced bras. (Only Valid on Style # beginning with dsx))

I've also heard wonderful things about Lane Bryant's boob-wrangling devices, though I have no personal experience.

Have you been fit properly for a bra? If not, do you suspect you could be wearing the wrong size? I hope this has been helpful. Get out there and treat your girls right!

Happy bra shopping!

Can We Talk about Sweatpants for a Minute?

Many of you are moms, and very, very busy, and some of you are diligent and actually go the gym (nice!). I do understand that it is sometimes necessary to don some sort of "comfy pants" to venture outside of your house-- perhaps in an emergency; or if you are genuinely on your way to or from some sort of athletic activity. One of the fashion faux pas (how do you pluralize that?) sweeping the nation (I hope it is not happening in other countries too!) over the past five years or perhaps more is the acceptability of pajama pants and sweats in public. Really, honestly, unless one is literally making a mad dash to the store or has terribly sick babies or (as mentioned) is going immediately to exercise, one oughtn't be wearing that sort of thing out. Penguins and duck and bunny jammies are for the eyes of people who already love you. Pajamas are for sleeping and lounging, not walking about town or going to class. And goddess forbid you have any sort of words emblazoned across your arse; even a school name is wretched but "Bootylicious" or "Sweet" or "Apple Bottom" across your tuckus will make it a) look wider b) look trashy c) look dumpy, or flat, because sweatpants are not doing you any favors unless you have that bubble butt. I am sorry to be harsh, but someone had to say it.

Even this model doesn't look particularly good with something (don't ask what) written across it.

Yoga pants are slightly better than those god-awful capri-legging and ankle-elastic ones people are bafflingly bringing back into vogue... Not being one to worship runway fashion, I think there's been quite enough eighties revival already, and I could do without them deifying the weird kid in third grade, who wouldn't wear a coat and whose tube socks were always showing beneath the too-short elastic ankles of his sweatpants while he ate strawberry-flavored air for lunch.

This poor booty wants to look sexy but its owner is having none of that :(

Even if they are showing on the runways and in magazines, do reconsider sweatpants and stretch pants-- they can make almost any girl look fat, and certainly every girl look worse than they could in a structured dark jean or a pinstriped trouser. If pants with a waistband that doesn't give are your big issue because you just had a kid or you've gained a bit, for the love of all that's holy, get your mind off the number and buy a flattering pair that fits even if you have to go up a few sizes and/or have something tailored so it fits your biggest bits but nips in around your small ones. Forget the size. Examine how it makes your body look. Find someone to be objective if you cannot be. You will feel so much better about yourself if you see how beautiful you can be with three seconds more effort (like a button); and a non-stretchy waistband is helpful for reminding you when to stop stuffing handfuls of kettle corn down your gullet (for example).

These girls will never, ever have more bangin' bodies than they do now, in college. And they're wasting it all!

Some of you will dislike my vehemence on this subject, as I banish your favorite comfortable clothes to the same hell reserved for Crocs,Uggs, and Leggings Used as Pants without a Tunic (very similar to the sweatpant situation but even worse because everyone sees EVERYTHING, girl.) Sorry about that. But don't you want your booty to look the best it can?

Design Inspiration: Rainbow Book Displays

I've been absolutely dying over rainbow-ordered bookshelves for a while now. I am a prolific reader and incorrigible collector, and I've never liked the kind of bookshelf displays where there were one or two books and a whole lot of vases or those weird, useless wicker spheres people seem to like so much (??). Yet I recognize that shelves absolutely packed with books have little visual appeal. Enter the organization-by-color phenomenon (yeah, it's everywhere, but it's so awesome, it should be).

How incredible is this bright and airy library by Craft & Creativity on flickr? IKEA shelves and an incredible effort in organization and sorting. What an eye. Oh lord how I love it.

New library, originally uploaded by Craft & Creativity.

This version creates such a different mood with the dark wood and colorful accessories. Love the deep blue walls, too. Just stunning. This is precisely how I would want my library to look (possible in my dreams only, of course- le sigh).

bookshelf spectrum revisited originally uploaded by Chotda aka Santos

This one is more simplistic, and gives off a sort of bachelor-feel with the open shelving instead of bookcases. This would look terrific with inset shelves (the ones with no visible hardware that look like they're floating).

Rainbow Books originally uploaded by Andrew Coulter Enright

If you own a huge number of black and white rather than colored books, here is a way to balance the rainbow with the monochromatic to create a beautifully symmetrical look:

Rainbow of Books originally uploaded by MindOnFire

...And if you don't have enough books to fill the shelves, or prefer the spare, minimalistic look, try coordinating a few spines with other objects in their color family like this lovely display (yeah, I know, I said I didn't like vases in bookcases so much- I make an exception here.) Also, varying vertical and horizontal placement can create visual interest.

Rainbow Order originally uploaded by paperpie

Have you thought about or actually accomplished organizing your books by color? Do you like this look or are you "over it" since "everyone's doing it"? I like to be a little different so it is strange to think about adopting something super-trendy, but sometimes trends stick because they are just plain awesome, so I'm calling this aesthetically pleasing idea wonderful enough to not care less whether everyone else likes it, too.

Blog Award and Some Exciting News Slash Shameless Self-Promotion

Awww, I'm super touched. A new favorite blog of mine, Memory Bean Designs, just included me in her "I Love Your Blog" awards. Thanks so much Tamara Nicole!



Here are the rules:

*Post the award on your blog*

*Link the person who has given you the award*

*Pass the award to 15 other blogs you’ve discovered*

*Remember to contact the bloggers you’ve nominated*

I would like to pass this award on to some of my most beloved reads- I hope you will check them out if you're not already following!

Fellow thrifty Bostonian Amy of TheBargainHunterExtraodinaire
"Struggler" of Struggling to be Stylish (a must-read!)
Becky of Pump Up the Frump (such gorgeous outfit photos!)
What Would a Nerd Wear calls her outfit pieces 'works cited' - how awesome?!
Kelly at Profiscamur! - a brand-new favorite
Admire the styling and beautiful collages at Lemondrop Vintage
Art, food and more from Angie at Lonesome Road Studio
Easy elegance in daily style from Rags and Finery
Thrifty, nutritious food and smart commentary at Cheap Healthy Good
Fabulous style blogger Londyn's new foodie blog, Blog Food
Witty, wordy, tattooed pin-up girl Ms. Bitch Cakes (weight-loss inspiration and hottness)
Gorgeous home-design blog focusing on bright colors and run by a DUDE (!), Will: Bright Bazaar
Be inspired to make your home more beautiful at The DIY Showoff
Stunner Christina (like a prettier Maggie Gyllenhall) of SecondSkin
Last but not least, The Freelancer's Fashion Blog by a RIDICULOUSLY glamorous but down-to-earth Finnish burlesque-dancing retro pin-up.

I adore reading each and every one of your blogs and find your talent, discerning eye and wonderful prose to be a constant inspiration. So, thank you!

My exciting news (well, for me, perhaps not nearly as much for you!) is that I've been accepted to write for the Boston Examiner as the "Budget Living Examiner" for my part of Cambridge. It's a new gig for me and I don't have a whole lot of content up (and much of it is similar to the content here, just consolidated and not in first person) but I would be so appreciative if you would check it out!

If you're interested in making a few extra pennies a day through your knowledge or expertise (I'm sure it's possible to make more, also), please apply to write for Examiner and put my name (Desiree Pappenheimer) or ID# (42177) in the referral box (shameless, I know)... for every person you then refer who is accepted, you will get $50! It's like a chain of awesome.

Happy reading!

Money for Nothing Monday: Opening Retirement Accounts

Once you’ve completed the steps in the first Money Monday segment, (the principles for most of which, once again, were instilled in me by Ramit Sethi of I Can Teach You to Be Rich) you should begin to think about your retirement accounts. Hopefully you’re already taking advantage of any pre-tax savings plan your company offers, most commonly a 401(k). Contribute the minimum to your 401(k) that will enable the company match (if any, in this economy), and then gauge your ability to live without a little bit extra, up to the max (usually $15K/year or thereabouts). At a young age it’s unlikely you’ll contribute any more than 5% or so, but the more you do, the lower your taxable income right now. The older you are, the more you should (and can legally) contribute.


Your company's plan will have a financial adviser who can help you understand the mutual funds offered in their particular plan, but you will need to choose your own. Think about how many years your money will spend in the market before you want to draw it out (i.e. retire). If you have many working years ahead of you, be more aggressive in your allocation; if you’re retiring soon, choose conservative—thankfully the work is done for you when they categorize the various funds.

If you are not employed by a company offering a 401(k), pension or profit-sharing scheme of some sort, you will need to look into a personal retirement fund like a Roth IRA (Individual Retirement Account). You can pay to have these managed by a professional broker, of course, but another option is to use an online trading site like E*Trade or TDAmeritrade, where you can buy into funds and individual stocks for a low per-trade fee and barely any maintenance (monetary or time-wise). Ramit suggests you buy a target-date fund, which basically manages your money for you based on when you plan to need the money (again, the formula has to do with how much risk you can withstand in the short-term; historically, the stock market does always return). Once you have selected your retirement account provider, research the various options they allow you to buy into. Most have a minimum contribution, so you should have $500 to $1000 transferred to the account in order to buy (plus any applicable fees). If you don’t have that much to put away, you can wait until you do, or you can get yourself excited about retirement funds (woo-hoo!) and buy a small amount of some stock that you really love or believe in (yeah, I mentioned I have a little Harley and Vicky’s stock?) and then wait until you have enough for a (boring old) target date fund.

If you contribute annually to your Roth IRA, your tax burden will be lower (you can contribute a few months into the new year for the previous year, too) and you will, of course, be growing your savings for the long run. Try not to trade too much unless it’s just fun money for you—trades cost money and the way to make money is to stick with a good stock or fun for the long haul. The best thing about the target date fund (or perhaps just not caring if your favored stock does well for the moment) is the “set it and forget it” (probably Ramit’s via the infomercial guy, I don’t recall) mentality. Once you are contributing regularly to a fund like this, your money will grow without you even paying attention. Try not to freak out at minor ups and downs. Mantra: Long Haul.

If you have at least one of these retirement accounts, you’re on your way to being able to maybe retire! Nice. If you do not, maybe get rid of some of the stuff you’ve accumulated and stop buying stuff for a while so you can get on that. It’s never too early, and it’s really never too late unless you want to be rich and not just get by (in which case it’s now or never).

Happy Saving!

Thrifty Eats: Batch Cooking

Sundays are a wonderful day to kick back, enjoy the weather if it's lovely out, and perhaps get some chores and projects done around the house. I try to reserve a few hours of my Sunday to cook in bulk, no matter what my other obligations and desires are, because it ends up saving so much time and effort throughout the week, never mind money!



The first step in this process is to take stock of your pantry and refrigerator. If you're a Virgo, you will likely love this one: make a list of what you have on hand, with food group categories and quantities (this can be fun and be made permanent in Excel, if you are a spreadsheet girl like Struggling to Be Stylish). With a quick glance at your list you should be able to come up with one or two meals that can be made with only a few additional ingredients. Cross off your items as you include them on a separate meal-planning list, and create a shopping list for what you're missing while you're at it. Trust me, it sounds complex but you will waste so much less and avoid spending on take-out because you can't figure out what to make! Be sure to actually examine all foods you're planning to use and toss any expired produce or growing-its-own-colony bread. Once you've disovered what you need and made room for it, step two is, obviously, going shopping.

The old adages will serve you well here: don't shop on an empty stomach. Avoid the middle aisles where the chips and cookies live and try to stick to the whole, fresh foods around the perimeter. Make a list and stick to it. Try not to bring children who are easily swayed by fancy packaging and promises of gobs of salt and sugar.

The biggest mistake most Americans make when shopping for produce is buying far too much. If you've planned your meals you should know exactly what you need, and perhaps grab a few extra pieces of fruit for snacks. Don't worry that you'll run out-- you can always go to the store again if need be. It makes a lot more sense to shop twice a week than to end up throwing out piles of spoiled greens and smooshy zucchinis.

I like to do much of the washing and chopping immediately when I get home from the market so that vegetable snacks are easy to grab instead of junk. I keep Tupperware filled with carrot and celery sticks stacked on one side of the fridge, and sometimes diced peppers for quick meals as well. This is when I begin a big pot of chili or pasta with vegetables, also, while I'm getting the rest of the groceries put away and the kitchen cleaned up again. When it's done and cooled, I separate it into containers, label them and freeze them. Then I have my very own "Lean Cuisines" for work lunches or nights I am only cooking for myself. Saving $5-$10 at every meal by not getting takeout is definitely worth the extra effort.

Here are a few of my own "batch cooking" recipes, all of which are ridiculously easy and freeze tremendously well, published on SparkRecipes by SparkPeople (a terrific free healthy lifestyle site if that's something you're interested in!):

Vegetarian Chili
Lentil Stew
Spinach Mushroom pasta

Invest in a label-maker or just use small post-its to indicate what something is and when it was made, whether you store it in the fridge or freezer. Most leftovers have a shelf-life of one week. Most frozen goods can be stored six months to a year. Indicate when it should be tossed by, not just when it was made! Here's my fridge with the new system in place:




You're looking at a whopping 9 cubic feet of storage space (about a third of your average fridge) so planning is essential for me. You may not want or need to be quite this OCD about it, but keeping things visible, neat and labeled will help diminish the amount of money and food you waste.

The last thing I'll mention here is that these frozen meals and any leftovers should never be reheated in their plastic containers. Ziploc has pledged to not put any terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad dioxins or BPAs in their products, but no other brand has to my knowledge, and due to a lack of awareness/caring/FDA testing or regulation, we're still unsure how dangerous many other plastics in common use are. Better to defrost at room temperature until it's possible to slide your meal out and into glass (or microwave-safe ceramic without metal-based glazes) before microwaving. Or as a last resort in a time pinch, nuke for a few seconds to defrost/loosen from the plastic before doing most of the actual cooking in glass or ceramic.

Do you enjoy batch cooking? If so, please share a favorite recipe (it doesn't have to be meatless by any means, by the way).

Happy cooking!