The Worst of Summer 2010

Dudes. Ack. The trends for Summer 2010 are so friggin' hideous! I didn't think we could get worse than double denim, acid wash, boots with cut-out toes and shoulder pads, but have a look at what the ubiquitous "they" are touting for the warmer months!

Short shorts aka hot pants

Show me a woman over 14 (who isn't paid to be thin) and I'll show you a woman who should probably not be wearing hot pants. Some of these "short shorts" really look like knickers. None of us are Lady Freakadeaky Mind Control so honestly, put some actual bottoms on.

Can you see my camel toe? No?! What if I hiked these a little bit higher? Now?

Rompers, "playsuits", even blasted OVERALLS!

Those of us who grew up in the 90s remember with possible horror and deep regret the overall trend (how about only one-shoulder-strap done up?) Can you believe Ralph Lauren is showing them again? Augh. If you're not farming, skip it, for the love of all that's holy. Thankfully, fashionising says "while we saw denim overalls on the Ralph Lauren Spring/Summer 2010 catwalk, this was really an exception." Phew!

Hey, even though we've never seen a farm or dirt we can pretend to be down-to-earth!

Similarly, though, while a select few ladies may look cute in a one-piece jumpsuit or shorts set thing, the rest of us will look dumpy, ridiculous or pathetic. Seriously. There is a reason they're called "playsuits" and "rompers." They are for playing and romping; i.e. for children.

Patterned pants

Any of you pear-shaped girls learned long ago that the best way to emphasize thick thighs or a wide booty is to swath them in a great big, loud pattern. If you love prints, try a floaty skirt instead- so much more flattering- and watch that the pattern doesn't get too gigantic or you'll look like someone's curtains. Not in a good way.

Apparently the psychotic, trashy Florida grandma look is pretty hot these days.

"Boyfriend" blazers

This trend takes the ultimate figure-flattering piece and completely ruins it. I mean, wtf? The whole point of wearing a blazer is so you get that "locked and loaded" emphasis on the hourglass figure. If you make it baggy and boxy and too big and roll up the damn sleeves at the waist (creating a wider horizontal line), you're just making yourself look thicker. Does anyone want to look thicker?

Does this girl even have a waist?

Personally, I don't give a flying nun whether or not I'm "on-trend" for the season and I certainly won't be subscribing to these suggestions. I'd prefer to spend the summer in cute dresses like this incredible beauty InStyle suggests, by Elizabeth and James, which I could never afford in a million years but still covet...




So the next post will be on cute summer dresses that are affordable!

Happy summer!